Here’s the thing…everyone at one point or another dreamed of being Jack Sparrow on a boat…be a pirate, sing “A Pirate’s Life For Me”, do whatever you want in the process…just don’t do what one British woman did…

Last September, Alison Whelan was having one hell of a week.  She had been drinking for two days straight with her friend, Tristam Lockee, at a bar near a harbor, and apparently also somehow ingested a poisonous hallucinogenic plant.

If you couldn’t already guess, that alcohol and the hallucinogenic didn’t mix very well, and soon, the 51-year-old Whelan called emergency services and said that she was having a seizure.

But don’t get worried just yet…When paramedics arrived, they found Whelan and Locke aboard a 45-foot passenger ferry all by themselves. The paramedics tried to board the boat, but the two became increasingly violent and ended up untying the ferry, causing it to float downstream.

The best part (which I can’t stop imagining in my head) is that while the ferry crashed into dozens of other boats in the harbor, causing thousands of British pounds of damage, witnesses could hear Whelan screaming “I’m a pirate” and “I’m Jack Sparrow.”

No honey, no you’re not…

Police finally caught up to the ferry about a half a mile away and arrested both Whelan and Locke.  This Wednesday (a full year after the accident), Whelan was sentenced to 122 days in prison while Locke was fined $160 for assaulting the ambulance worker.