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Five Things We’ve Learned From This Weekend’s Box Office

Behind the numbers from this weekends box office report, some interesting lessons about what resonates, what doesn’t and who is excited about their upcoming checks.

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Behind the numbers from this weekends box office report, some interesting lessons about what resonates, what doesn’t and who is excited about their upcoming checks.

LESSON ONE – Horror isn’t Just For Halloween / Recycling Works Texas Chainsaw 3D is reigning supreme, with an impressive 23 million in its opening weekend. January has become a surprising new home for horror films in recent years. Perhaps folks need a break from the good cheer of December. Previous January releases on the more morbid side include The Devil Inside and My Bloody Valentine. Meanwhile, its success is proof positive that sometimes an old idea can still mow down the competition. The first Chainsaw movie was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1974. There have been no less than SEVEN Chainsaw inspired films since.

Bette Midler and Billy Crystal ‘Still Got it’ – Parental Guidance has proven to be the little comedy that could. After just two weeks in theaters, it is number five at the box office and has already made a nice 52 million gross. Not bad, considering the movie’s budget was only about 25 million. (Compare that to Django Unchained, that after two weeks has made 106 million, but cost about 100 million to make! Still, Unchained stands to make considerably more internationally than Guidance.) Note also that Guidance is beating Tom Cruise at the box office too… don’t think for one second that he isn’t noticing. Could we see a resurgence of family style movies?

The Hobbit in fourth after four weeks is not such a crisis. Taking in what sounds like a “mere” 17.5 million this weekend might sound dire… but think again. According to BoxOfficeMojo that’s the highest fourth week take ever for a Lord Of The Rings Movie. It’s important to note that die-hard fans of the Lord franchise usually see it the very minute a new installment comes out, which explains the impressive gross dollars of nearly 264 million in just four weeks. No one is crying over at Warner Brothers.

Les Miserables Races On – Despite a significant drop in weekend box office after an increase in theaters showing the film Les Miserables, the movie musical is performing well, surpassing the 100 million dollar mark and breaking the final tally for the last big movie musical, Dreamgirls, which tallied 103.4 million. Many are crediting a publicity campaign aimed at Christians for boosting its totals.  

Tom Cruise Isn’t “Reaching” As Jack Reacher – Even though many It may be that Tom Cruise’s role as International Movie Star Tom Cruise is eclipsing the roles he portrays on film. Some have said that the role is just Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise in typical action hero mode. After three weeks at the box office, it’s 64 million plus gross isn’t as high above its 60 million dollar budget as the studio would like.

Here are the early box office reports for January 4th Through the 6th:

1 TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D                                                 23,000,000

2 DJANGO UNCHAINED                                                 20,082,000

3 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY            17,525,000

4 LES MISERABLES                                                                    16,117,000

5 PARENTAL GUIDANCE                                                        10,125,000

6 JACK REACHER                                                                        9,300,000

7 THIS IS 50                                                                                    8,559,000            

8 LINCOLN                                                                                       5,258,000

9 THE GUILT TRIP                                                                     4,530,000            

10 PROMISED LAND                                                                  4,312,000

For more movie updates follow @BrianBalthazar on twitter!

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Disney+ Series ‘Muppets Now’ Reveals Shocking Detail About The Swedish Chef

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Bork, Bork, Bork?!

If you haven’t taken the time to check out the new Disney+ series Muppets Now, stop reading and start streaming! The improv sitcom is an unscripted, segmented series in which our favorite fur-covered friends put together a digital show. Think The Muppet Show meets millennials. I watched the first episode, which became available for streaming as of July 31st, and I smiled through the entire thirty minutes. It’s cute and campy and reminds us all why we love The Muppets so much. I was enjoying the childhood nostalgia of seeing Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and the rest of the gang when suddenly our favorite gibberish-spewing chef came on the screen to partake in a cooking challenge. Of course I was prepared to giggle at the Swedish Chef’s horrendous attempt at cooking but I was immediately distracted and could only focus on one shocking detail!

Credit: Muppets Now

Did you see it? Can you see what I was distracted by?! The stached Swede is wearing a wedding ring on his left hand! The Swedish Chef is married?!?!

Credit: Muppets Now

I mean, sure, it’s not surprising with the sexy foreign accent and killer eyebrows but still, I would have never guessed the chef had someone waiting at home for him! Since the chef is one of the few Muppets to actually feature human hands, I first thought the ring might have belonged to a neglectful puppeteer who forgot to take off their ring. But I did a quick Wikipedia search and apparently the Swedish Chef has been donning the gold ring since 2010 and is known to be married!

I guess there truly is a lid for every pot.

Muppets Now is now available for streaming on Disney+.

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Giant Asparagus Stalk Causes Quite The Stir On Social Media

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Who would have asparaguessed?

Over the weekend, photos of a giant asparagus plant began circulating Twitter with many users stunned to learn that the plant can grow to be the size of a small tree. I was one of those users because I’ve never seen an asparagus stem longer than a fork…I’ve never seen a bunch that wasn’t ridiculously overpriced either, might I add. The sad reality is that most of us eat things everyday with absolutely no idea as to how they are  grown and farmed. I can honestly say I was always more preoccupied by the thought of the funny smelling, post-asparagus-eating pee that it never occurred to me that these plants could become overgrown. And overgrown is a bit of an overstatement.

Credit: Twitter @girlfr0g

The stem in the picture looks to be over 8 feet tall. My pee would smell funny for a whole year after eating that. The photos have sparked a debate on Twitter with some saying the plants showcased are not asparagus but agave plants instead. While asparagus stems can grow to be about 5 feet tall, agave plants can grow much taller and even bloom flowers. I have zero interest in horticulture but plenty of interest in what’s funny so I just collected a few of the funniest reactions to the asparagus/agave photo here:

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‘The Late Show With Stephen Colbert’ Parodied Dolly Parton To Create A Theme Song For All The ‘Karen’s’ Out There

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These “Karens” are workin’ 9 to 5 on our last nerve.

By now you probably know that the term “Karen” is typically reserved for white women who throw tantrums over things that don’t really require tantrum throwing. Amid the coronavirus pandemic, the “Karens” have been especially vocal about not wanting to wear a mask usually citing constitutional freedom as the reason. Over the passed few weeks we have seen headlines about these women coughing on pro-maskers, verbally assaulting eye witnesses and even destroying property all to prove the point that they can and will do whatever they want. It’s annoying. Well, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert took the these suburban lemons and turned them into a hilarious pitcher of lemonade with a parody of the Dolly Parton classic “Jolene,” appropriately renamed “Karen.”

The PSA begins with actual news footage covering the stories of anti-maskers before cutting to a vintage clip of Parton in a pink jumpsuit with an anonymous singer belting out the altered lyrics which poke fun at all the angry scene makers. “You go on rants at Trader Joe’s, sit on the ground at the Costco, say wearing masks is the devil’s law,” the unseen singer croons. “Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, please just wear a mask you big dumbass” she continues to implore.

Like all good satire, the video is hilarious but also contains an important message. The CDC as well as countless medical professionals have all agreed that wearing a mask is the best way to prevent the spread of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

Wear a mask! And check out the funny video below!

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