-by Mike Finkelstein
If I change my last name to Diddy, can I be one of his kids? I want cars and planes and awesome stuff, too!
The Independent is reporting that Diddy, aka P.Diddy, aka Puff Daddy, aka Sean Combs, aka “insert name here” recently gave his 17-year-old son, Justin, a limousine version of a Mercedes Maybach just for making the honor roll:
“Justin has turned himself around and is now an honors student, which he wasn’t before, so I wanted to treat him…It’s a collector’s car so maybe he will use it for special occasions like on a first date, but like all my kids, he prefers the simpler things than the expensive things. Simple tastes.”
Simple tastes?!?  The teen received his first Maybach, worth over $300,000 when he was just 16, and then another for his 17th birthday! I enjoy simple tastes, also! All you gotta do is get me a new Kia, and I’m set!