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OPINION: Why The Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Split Was Settled So Quickly.

In what may be the most publicly amiable split and divorce agreement in recent celebrity history, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have settled the terms of their split in less that two weeks. Here’s why.

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In what may be the most publicly  amicable split and divorce agreement in recent celebrity history, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have settled the terms of their split in less that two weeks. Here’s why.

Here’s how it came out: Amid the frenzy of stories about the breakup, PEOPLE magazine got the statement from the legal eagles behind team Holmes:

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.

Then, chimed in Cruise’s attorney Dennis Wasser, separately: “All the lawyers and the parties are happy that it’s done, the deal was closed and we wish everyone well.” 

Then came separate, unified statements from Holmes and Cruise: “We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents,” says the statement from Holmes and Cruise’s reps, Nanci Ryder and Amanda Lundberg respectively.

So what are the reasons behind the lightning fast settlement? Here are a few theories:

1) For Katie, It Wasn’t About Money

This isn’t Tom Cruise’s first time to divorce court, and so speculation that he and Katie had a clear cut pre-nup seem likely. And while it’s rumored that the payout for Holmes was minimal, it’s been reported that this decision was never about a financial windfall for Holmes. By not challenging the agreement, things moved quickly. But even if they hadn’t moved so briskly, it was Holmes that stood to gain the  most from a long drawn out media event, and Cruise who would need to move it along.

2) Tom can’t win.

Ask around: In the courtroom that is public opnion… Do you hear anyone cheering on ‘Team Tom’? The harsh reality, perhaps one that Cruise himself needed to hear from his advisors, was this: Cruise’s public image can’t handle much more damage. In a relationship that was as publicly questioned and scrutinzed as this one, Tom could only mangle his reputation further by fighting to separate a mother from her daughter. The world, even the media, whether they would admit it or not, was clearly on Team Katie, a young woman trying to save her daughter from a mysterious world with secrets so closely guarded that we’ve barely scracthed the surface.

3) Cruise’s Special Brand Of Crazy.

The longer this story draws out (without much in the way of publicly released facts) the more entertainment shows are left to speculate about the reasons for the split, which can only draw more focus on Cruise’s odd behavior back when this relationship began. That means more flashbacks to his bizarre appearance on Oprah, (see below) and his compelling, but creepy Scientology video where he claims that only people from his religion can truly help people who have been in a car accident, and other bizarre claims. (Also below). Those two videos alone will haunt Cruise whenever he’s making  big news in his personal life. They’re a PR nightmare every time they run. The sooner this story dies, the less those embarassing, bizarre moments will get played out on national television.

4) The Wild Wild Web

Things have changed since Tom’s divorce from Nicole Kidman, the details of which largely managed to stay under wraps. Now, the public’s insatiable desire for celebrity updates is rivaled only by sources and destinations to find it. It seems likely that more and more secret details chronicling the backstory of this marriage breakdown, and the facts behind terms of the split, would surface… from the stories of Scientology to the personal details of their broken marriage. And even if they didn’t, that same insatiable lust for gossip would also result in a groundswell of completely fabricated, speculative gossip that stood to hurt Cruise even more than the truth.

5) This Is Bigger Than Cruise

The people behind the Church of Scientology can’t be thrilled to be in the headlines yet again. As people are just starting to calm down about the scandal behind member John Travolta, Holmes surprise divorce filing had to be the last thing they needed. Cruise, whose close relationship with the Church’s highest leaders is well documented, was in all liklihood advised in great detail about the best approach to the split, developing solutions that would not only benefit Cruise, but keep the best interests of Scientology at heart as well.

Now, with the settlement reached, with an irod clad confidentiality clause obviously included, the period of speculation will subside. But the cameras will still be waiting and watching to see what happens next.

For more entertainment opinion, follow @BrianBalthazar on twitter!

 

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Jason Momoa Was Hosed Down After A Dirty Dune Buggy Ride And The Photos Are As Hot As They Sound

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We couldn’t love him any Momore.

Social media is a bit of a double edged sword. Some days it feels like all there is to scroll through is overused quotes or endless tirades expressing personal opinions that no one cares about. But just when you think you might need to take a little social media sabbatical something like this happens.

Earlier today, Jason Momoa took to Instagram to share photos of himself being hosed off after a particularly messy round of dune bugging riding. And when I say hosed off I mean…shirtless…with a hose. Of the ride the Aquaman star wrote “like a pig in shit. 🤣🤣🤣hard to explain this one. but i had an amazing day. now i need a dune buggy. dune coming soon aloha j. @schaeffersgarmenthotel dirty pink 😭🤣😂” I fully support the idea of Momoa purchasing a dune buggy if it means he will share more content like this.

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Of course fans went wild for the sizzling pics. One Instagrammer asked “Where do I apply for the hose guy’s job?” Another pointed out the obvious by saying “good god that is a man right there.” And finally one brought offered this very sage advice and said “wash your hands like you’re washing Jason Momoa.” Definitely wouldn’t mind washing for the full recommended 20 seconds am I right?

To see more of the stars sizzling snaps click here!

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Disney+ Series ‘Muppets Now’ Reveals Shocking Detail About The Swedish Chef

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Bork, Bork, Bork?!

If you haven’t taken the time to check out the new Disney+ series Muppets Now, stop reading and start streaming! The improv sitcom is an unscripted, segmented series in which our favorite fur-covered friends put together a digital show. Think The Muppet Show meets millennials. I watched the first episode, which became available for streaming as of July 31st, and I smiled through the entire thirty minutes. It’s cute and campy and reminds us all why we love The Muppets so much. I was enjoying the childhood nostalgia of seeing Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and the rest of the gang when suddenly our favorite gibberish-spewing chef came on the screen to partake in a cooking challenge. Of course I was prepared to giggle at the Swedish Chef’s horrendous attempt at cooking but I was immediately distracted and could only focus on one shocking detail!

Credit: Muppets Now

Did you see it? Can you see what I was distracted by?! The stached Swede is wearing a wedding ring on his left hand! The Swedish Chef is married?!?!

Credit: Muppets Now

I mean, sure, it’s not surprising with the sexy foreign accent and killer eyebrows but still, I would have never guessed the chef had someone waiting at home for him! Since the chef is one of the few Muppets to actually feature human hands, I first thought the ring might have belonged to a neglectful puppeteer who forgot to take off their ring. But I did a quick Wikipedia search and apparently the Swedish Chef has been donning the gold ring since 2010 and is known to be married!

I guess there truly is a lid for every pot.

Muppets Now is now available for streaming on Disney+.

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Martha Stewart Responded To Chelsea Handler Recreating Her Sultry Pool Selfie With Some Shade, Compliments And An F-Bomb!

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We are all Martha-Stewart-Livinggggg for this.

Domestic goddess Martha Stewart has turned into a spicy septuagenarian and it has only made her fans love her more. She is besties with Snoop Dogg, she has no trouble roasting celebs and most recently, she posted a selfie that left the internet buzzing. At 78, Stewart posted this stunner to Instagram earlier this week:

Peep that pout! It’s safe to say that any of us would kill to look this good when we reach our seventies. Hell I’d give my left foot to look this good now. It came as no shock that the selfie went viral, so viral in fact, comedian Chelsea Handler took the time to recreate the selfie. With a caption that read “I’m here to take @marthastewart48’s swimming lesson. If I look this good at 78 I better still have a pool to show myself off in” the 45-year old shared this to Instagram:

Along with tips for party throwing and scenic tablescapes, Stewart is also known to have quite the funny bone and can give a backhanded compliment better than most. In a response to Handler’s recreation Stewart wrote “Dear Chelsea, I’m so happy that you like my post well enough to emulate it. I do think my pool is a little bit prettier than yours and that my facial expression is a little bit more relaxed.” THE SHADE! “Nevertheless you are a beautiful girl and F–KING too young to be emulating me,” Stewart continued dropping a wholehearted F-Bomb, “Continue with your comedy, your humor, and your amazing ability to gather around you political liberals. We need it!” And because she is the queen of good manners, Stewart finished the comment with “Love Martha.”

All of this is just goals.

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