POP Interview: Wildly Funny Jack Gray Sounds Off On Anderson Cooper, Kathy Griffin, And The Best Ice Cream Flavor Not Invented Yet.

It would be far too simple to say that Jack Gray is a producer on Anderson Cooper’s AC 360. He’s also a hilarious author who has gotten drunk with Kathy Griffin, driven a disheveled Joan Kennedy home from jury selection, and dared to look New York City in the eye and take it by storm. His new book, ‘Pigeon In A Crosswalk’ is out now. (BUY IT HERE.) I asked him about it and he took not a single one of my questions seriously.

Your name seems like you were made to be working in television – or as a private eye. (Doesn’t that sound cool? “Jack Gray, Private Eye” ??) It seems like you always knew you were going to be in the TV business. If you weren’t doing this, what would you be doing right now?

Well there’s Jack Black, there’s Jack White. There’s a need for a Jack Gray, right?  I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if I wasn’t working in TV and writing essays.  I’m kind of fascinated by obituaries.  Is that too morbid for PopGoesTheWeek.com?

 Tell us about the book, ‘Pigeon In A Crosswalk.’ How do you describe it to people?

It’s a collection of essays that will hopefully make people laugh.  Topics range from my family, my career in TV news, working for Anderson Cooper, random adventures with celebrities, and, of course, my dog, Sammy.

You have more than a million twitter followers – and yet, you only follow 2 thousand people. What does it feel like to leave 998,000 people feeling a little disappointed? I’m joking, but seriously – what does that feel like?

 I think most of my Twitter followers are spammers. I think like three people really follow me.  And those three are more interested in pictures of my dog than anything I’m doing.  And I don’t blame them. My dog is cute.

You seem to have a million stories of your life working in television, and the names and faces that you’ve encountered along the way. (Your Joan Kennedy story is a personal favorite of mine.) Who would you say is the person you’ve been the most excited to meet?

Nora Ephron left one of the biggest impressions on me. She was so smart and so funny.  I produced an interview with her when I worked in local news in Boston.  A few days later we got a handwritten thank-you note in the mail from her.  Unheard of.  She was amazing.

You rag a bit on Anderson Cooper a bit in this book, lovingly so. Do you make jokes at his expense when you’re working with him? Or are you secretly hoping he doesn’t read your book?

Ha, well, he has read the book, even though I didn’t think celebrities knew how to read.  But, in fact, he gave me a great blurb for the back cover and I’m on his syndicated daytime talk show this Wednesday.  I’m lucky that he has a wonderful sense of humor about himself.  He can take any joke.

Yes, your book jacket is a who’s who of recommendations!  I was blown away!

What do you think the biggest misconception people you grew up with have about your life? (I find that people always think that everyone working in television is a millionaire. And yet, I just ate two slices of cold pizza for breakfast.

People always think just because I work in television in New York that I can get them tickets to Saturday Night Live.  I don’t work at NBC, I don’t know anyone at SNL, nothing.  I couldn’t have less clout.  And yet that’s the favor I get asked the most.  I should just refer them to you.  You probably know people over there.  You know everyone.

Oh my God, I’ve had that happen too! I also once had a long lost cousin who lost custody of her son track me down and ask me if I could get Ellen (as in Ellen DeGeneres) to help her. I’m dead serious.

Okay, moving on. You had a Hamptons sleepover with Kathy Griffin and Kelly Ripa and Anderson Cooper? (Am I getting that right?) Who drank the most?

 Ha, well, Kelly didn’t sleep over.  We had a nice dinner with her and her husband Mark Consuelos that weekend, but they wisely went back to their own home.  But, yeah, Kathy and I spent the weekend with Anderson at his house.  It was as insane as you would think a sleepover with her would be.  We went out there a night ahead of Anderson and she kept making me text him photos of her wearing his underwear.  I headed right for the wine, and lots of it.

What I wouldn’t give for one of those photos! Whose underwear were you wearing? Okay, never mind, I’m getting off topic. What’s the one question you get asked the most? And what question don’t you get asked nearly enough?

 The question I get asked the most, besides SNL tickets, is “what’s Anderson really like?”  And to that I say: wonderful, absolutely wonderful.  Just don’t make eye contact unless he initiates it.  As for the question I don’t get asked nearly enough:  “May I take your dog out for you so you don’t have to walk in the rain this morning?”

Fantasy world question: If you were forced to restrict the world to only one flavor of ice cream, which flavor would be the last one standing, and why?

It would be a fruity ice cream called “Angela Lans-berry” and I would marry it.

WOW! You just invented a flavor, just like that! I would love to speak at the wedding reception. I would like to think I helped you two meet. 

Meanwhile, I’ve taken the liberty of creating the packaging… Admit it… it’s awesome.

Buy Pigeon In A Crosswalk today!

Meanwhile, Follow @JackGrayCNN and @BrianBalthazar on twitter!