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POP INTERVIEW: Maya Ezratti from Rewarding Relationships

Katy Perry! Miley Cyrus! Failed relationships! Author and relationship expert Maya Ezratti gave us her opinions on what’s wrong in Hollyweird romance lately.

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Katy Perry! Miley Cyrus! Failed relationships! Author and relationship expert Maya Ezratti gave us her opinions on what’s wrong in Hollyweird romance lately.

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Why do most reality show marriages end in divorce?
There’s too much pressure on the relationship. It can feel very forced. There’s too much exposure of a couple’s private life. The expectations are askew as well and when the cameras aren’t rolling anymore and people are no longer directed to behave in certain ways and the attention has been refocused and shifted off the couple. Reality couples tend to have a hard time with the post-show transition. There are no more fantasy dates being created for the couple, finances come into play and real life, away from TV, sets in and it’s not always as glamorous as it was on television.

Why don’t people in Hollywood ever spend time not dating anyone? Some celebrities are in the tabloids with a new boyfriend every month.
Be single? That’s a ghastly notion in Hollywood apparently. Celebrities need it for publicity. It’s also an ego boost to be paired up with someone so soon when you’re down in the dumps from a recent public breakup. Someone new can serve as a distraction in the meanwhile and keep the media talking about you. Gotta keep it hot!

How can someone be happy with themselves when not in a serious relationship?
I always like to think of the freedom we have when we are single! Singlehood rocks. No one tells you what to do! You can come and go as you please. Date, date, date, date, date when you’re single! It’s like being in the buffet line people! Take a bite outta everything that’s offered until you found the flavor of love! Stop thinking of what or who you don’t have and go wild on all you do have! Many people place their self-worth and value on their relationship status rather than on who they are as an individual and what they have personally accomplished in life. You’ve got to be happy with yourself first and always, with or without someone. I know it’s cliché and all, but it’s so basic and so true. You can’t be a hater and expect to be happy at the same time. Fill your time with things you love to do. Travel, sports, exercise, social and hobby clubs etc. Change the meaning of happiness for yourself. Are you happy at work? Great! Are you happy as a college student? Wonderful! Are you any less of a person if you’re not involved with someone right now? NO. Be happy, be free and make the choices that best suit you! Why settle?

Katy Perry says she couldn’t get out of bed for weeks after her divorce. She had critics before the wedding saying it was happening too soon. Is she being sincere about the level of her depression, or is this an act to sell her new album?
She’s being sincere. Divorce is gut wrenching. She did have a whirlwind romance with her ex, Russell Brand, but she thought she was in it for the long haul. Quick romances are hard because it’s too much too soon and then the relationship unravels at an even faster pace and things end badly. In Katy’s case it’s even worse because it’s a public humiliation. Katy’s lucky it was only a matter of weeks that she felt she couldn’t get out of bed. Thank g-d for her that she is a busy woman and had a career to get back to! That saved her. It can be months or years where people are just severely depressed and don’t have the wherewithal to deal with anything. Divorce sucks the life out of you! It’s truly unimaginable. It’s the worst to go through, but on the other hand, when you’re done, you’re DONE! You’re out. You’re free. No more emotional imprisonment. I’m happy for Katy that she’s moved on. She’s amazing. And if she used any of her pain to promote sales in her industry, then bravo! She was able to avenge her heartbreak by creating a profit! Sounds like a final win to me.

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Can negatively perceived publicity break an already failing relationship? Is it possible that Miley Cyrus broke up with her boyfriend after the VMAs because he couldn’t handle the media pressure of dating a Top 40 star?
Sure it’s possible. They were on and off again at that point. Rumors were flying about Liam Hemsworth having been unfaithful with January Jones. Miley’s ex is gorgeous! Did she cheat? Did he cheat? Yes, negative publicity can totally break up a couple. It causes strains on the relationship and gets into he-said/she-said and the couple starts blaming one another and that’s dangerous territory. Between bruised egos and emotional vulnerability, strains on the relationship become evident.

“The Millionaire Matchmaker” is returning for a new season. Is it possible for anyone to find true love on TV, and on this show, where the whole premise is women dating men because they have millions in the bank?
Great question! Yes it’s possible for people to find true love on TV. It may not seem like the standard, more ordinary, traditional way for people to fall in love. But when it comes to falling in love, who cares how or where you fell in love?! You’re in love! BRAVO! And that’s the best part! You could meet on the bus, in the office, walking to your car back from lunch, at the gym, on vacation, in college, ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE! And yes, even on TV. Look at Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter from ABC’s The Bachelorette. They met on reality TV and fell in love. They married in 2003 and have two children and are happily married still today in October 2013. ABC’s The Bachelorette Ashley Hebert fell in love on the show with J.P. Rosenbaum and they got married in 2013. ABC’s The Bachelor Sean Lowe also fell in love with the cameras rolling and he is set to marry his fiancé Catherine Guidici. Look at Snooki Nicole Polizzi. She fell in love on MTV’s reality TV show, Jersey Shore, got engaged to fellow cast member Jionni LaValle and the couple now have a baby boy. So love does exist and last on TV. Not every TV relationship works out but not every non-TV relationship works out either. Yes, the premise of the show is matchmaking millionaires and the people meeting one another on the show are looking for love just like the rest of us, they are just willing to take a bigger, more public gamble in the game of love. Sure, people can be opportunists, but that happens in front of the cameras and off. When it comes to finding true love, don’t be afraid to try all options. Maximize the playing field.

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The program’s host, Patti Stanger, has all kinds of rules she makes contestants follow about what they say and what they wear. Call me cheesy, but I think someone should like you with any hairstyle or mannerisms. They’ll eventually find out anyway. Who’s right: Patti with her strict dating rules…or me?
Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, Patti is correct in this case. Patti’s not changing someone’s personality. She’s just toning down the volume or conversely, bringing it up when it comes to showcasing and highlighting each person’s best attributes whether relating to physical appearance or to personality. Some people talk too much and others not enough. People get nervous on dates, inadvertently, and end up saying ridiculous things or they forget to inquire about their date or they don’t know how to have a fun, easy going conversation and they end up being boring (the worst) or too aggressive and sound like reporters interviewing their subject instead of just getting to know one another. That is why they seek Patti’s help or the help of relationship coaches like me. They are unsuccessful in dating love and relationships. MEN ARE VISUAL!!! So are women by the way. On first dates, you don’t have much to go on, so you are judging on looks and style and hair and mannerisms. The guy can be the nicest guy in the world, but if he looks like a putz and hasn’t updated his look since the year of the flood, then the girl won’t care how nice and amazing he is. She’s already checked out! And the same goes with men. Men don’t want their dates to show up looking masculine or looking like they just came out of a business meeting. Men don’t want their dates showing up with bad hair and cheap looking attire which sends messages to men that “I don’t care about myself, I don’t care about how I look, why would I care about you? I’m not even worthy of this date. I couldn’t even be bothered to look good.” And to your point about people eventually finding out how you really behave and look irregardless of the initial dating phase, yes, that may be true, but by then hopefully each person has fallen in love with the other and can accept a little bit of a less unkempt look if you will. Although, I caution you, never get too unkempt! You’re in a relationship or marriage for the long haul (hopefully). Don’t make it boring right off the bat. It’s never attractive to date or be married to someone who just doesn’t ever care or make ANY modicum of effort to dress up for his or her partner. It’s unromantic. It sends of signals of “I’m not so interested in you or in us anymore.” That’s dangerous!

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Wendy Stuart Kaplan Knows How To Party – Now She’s Throwing An Epic One Of Her Own!

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Wendy Stuart Kaplan knows her way around a party. In her book, ‘She’s The Last Model Standing,” she wrote about her headline grabbing days at Studio 54, and now throws more than a few of her own. The latest is her “Reading For Filth” and her birthday extravaganza, where she, hosts Eileen Dover and Nick Lion and others (including yours truly!) will perform a collection of wildly entertaining essays, poems, comedic rants and more. The kind of person who is so ‘on the go’ you get exhausted just thinking about it (she, however, does not) I caught up with her as she was taking a break between a radio show, a modeling job and a party tonight. If you want to catch up with Wendy, you have to be flexible… she’s probably got a full schedule that day! Her party this Friday is one that will not only celebrate a wildly varied and entertaining life, but also celebrate the spoken word from a variety of performers.

Anyone who’s ready your book “She’s The Last Model Standing” knows you’ve been partying since studio 54 – when did you first realize you were a party girl?

I first realized when I came back to New York after college! I wasn’t until then, because there was no good place to party.

Where did you go to school?

SUNY Binghamton where I majored in anthropology – and then I went to Nigeria! I definitely enjoyed partying eventually, but back then I really, really wanted to go to Africa, which I did!  I have gone back often, most recently to work on my documentaries.

Wendy Kaplan was a bold faced name for tearing up the dance floor AND going home right after.

That’s wild! But it’s not surprising to hear of that passion since you make films about wildlife conservation there. But your festive side eventually DID come out! We all know you now as a social butterfly! Whether you’re at a party, or working a film premiere – but were you as confident and comfortable in the spotlight as a kid as you are now?

I was an oddball kid. I had two things: I had my friends in the Bronx, and the ones that I had in school and they didn’t mix all that well. I loved growing up there, that was home – but I remember as a kid I would get stomachaches before parties! How weird is that? Until you asked me I had forgotten all about that.

What were you worrying about?

Social pressures – what if nobody talks to me – oh my god, I’m not pretty. I had a short mop of brown hair because my mom thought I looked better with short hair, and I had chubby cheeks. I didn’t love that look. I used to put on wigs as a kid and imagine myself with long blonde hair!

And here we are! 

Here we are, right? Long blonde hair. I morphed into it. I’m totally self made!

Tell me more about Reading for Filth – your event this Friday at Club Bedlam.

Reading for Filth came about when Brian Butterick, also known as Hattie Hathaway, used to have these events. One had the byline, “low rent reading for a high rent city.” Reading for filth is an expression for ‘I’m going to read you to filth,’ as in, “I’m gonna tell you what I really think.” The performers would do a reading of their choice. Something personal, maybe about an old boyfriend, or something someone else wrote, and they’d get up and read it in front of a room. At the last one we had, Michael Musto read from Suzanne Somers’ poetry book. I didn’t even know she wrote poetry… here the same person who wrote about African violets is also behind the Thighmaster! Brought me to tears! I imagine her thighs going back and forth as she sits next to a table with a sole African violet in its little pot, which inspired her to write the poem.

The reason we chose to open my birthday party with it is, when Hattie passed away, my friend and partner in crime Michael Fontana (Eileen Dover) really wanted to keep it going. We say it’s such a downtown New York thing but it’s a New York thing. It’s a nationwide thing. Think about what’s hot right now: storytelling. And here we have had Reading for Filth going on long before all that other stuff. Brian Butterick had been doing it for six to ten years. He was very ahead of his time. We brought it back this past year.

You love people and being around them, entertaining them, but you also love your home life – please describe your NYC living situation. You have a beautiful place… but describe your roommates.

Well, we will have to go back about 30 years when I got my first rabbit. I haven’t lived without one for 30 years, so when one dies I always have one in the wings. Fast forward to now, we always have two rabbits. It’s nice if they have another rabbit to hangout with. Also, 33 years ago we got a baby cockatoo, named her Louise, fed her formula, and she is now hanging out with me in my living room. Did I also mention our blue merle chihuahua?

In my New York apartment everyone is loose. No one is caged.  Everybody is trained to go on those wee-wee pads you buy for dogs, and everybody goes on a wee-wee pad including the rabbits… but not the dog.

Wendy’s rabbit S’mores roams free in her apartment along side another rabbit, a cockatoo and a Chihuahua.
Wendy Kaplan’s dog Nugget does what it wants.

You know how to party – we know that – your wedding was no exception…describe your epic wedding.

So my wedding was 32 or so years ago. I should know that! Alan (a renowned photographer) and I got married in our huge loft, and you had to come dressed as members of a bridal party. It was on Halloween – you could be a bride, or a groom or a bridesmaid. The only problem was a lot of people thought it was a costume party and not an actual wedding. So we had people dressed as bridesmaids with five o’clock shadows and brides with full beards. They thought this was just going to be a big loft party – because we always gave huge parties – and not a wedding. But it was actually our wedding. I didn’t get many gifts because no one took it seriously. I won’t make that mistake again!

You’ve been modeling since you were in your twenties – what’s the best thing anyone can do to look and feel like a model whether they’re walking down the street or working it in the office?

You have to know who you are. What’s your style? What makes you feel good? What floats your boat? When you put on a certain dress how does that make you feel? Don’t go with trends, go with what you’re attached to! Listen to your inner fashionista. And you know what? We all have that.

Reading For Filth is open to the public this Friday at 8pm at Club Bedlam, 40 Avenue C, NYC. For more on Wendy visit her book’s Facebook page, her personal facebook page, or her instagram.

Visit her website, and buy her book on amazon!

 

 

 

 

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All 18 of the BAFTA Acting Nominees Are White, All Directing Nominees Are Male

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“Joker” is the one to watch at the upcoming BAFTAs, but if you’re looking for diversity and female directors, sadly you’ll have to look somewhere else. All the acting nominees are white, and all the directors are male.

Led by a lead actor nomination for Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker” received 11 nominations for Britain’s equivalent to the Oscars, competing with familiar Golden Globe nominees Taron Egerton, “Rocketman,”  Leonardo DiCaprio for “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” Adam Driver for “Marriage Story,” and Jonathan Pryce for “The Two Popes.”

Renée Zellweger leads the nominations for the best actress category for her role in “Judy,” alongside Jessie Buckley,  “Wild Rose,” Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story,” Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women,” and Charlize Theron for “Bombshell.”

Here are the other notable highlights:

See the full nomination page HERE.

  • 11 nominations for Joker
  • 10 nominations for The Irishman and Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood
  • Nine nominations for 1917
  • Six nominations for Jojo Rabbit
  • Five nominations for Little WomenMarriage Story and The Two Popes
  • Four nominations for For SamaParasite and Rocketman
  • Three nominations for BombshellJudyLe Mans ’66 and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

The ceremony will be held on Feb. 2 at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

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The Best Golden Globe GIFS That Keep On GIF-ing.

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Sometimes an award show recap is best done with looping clips and no audio. Here are the best Golden Globe gifs making the rounds!

GIFS  via GIPHY  via NBC’s awards coverage.

THE FIRST WINNER OF THE NIGHT,  RAMY YOUSSEF ADMITTED THAT MOST PEOPLE HAVEN’T SEEN HIS SHOW ‘RAMY’ ON HULU. BUT THANKS TO HIS HILARIOUS, CHARMING SPEECH, A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL BE CHECKING IT OUT NOW.

I WANNA BORROW GWYNNIE’S SHEER GOWN FOR LOUNGING POOLSIDE AND SMOKING A VIRGINIA SLIM. AND I DON’T EVEN SMOKE. IS THAT MACRAME? I AM NOT HATING ON IT. I THINK IT’S DARING.

BEYONCE LOOK TRAPPED. HERE SHE IS GIVING US THE GOLD SHOULDER…

TOBIAS MENZIES SUMS UP A LOT OF FOLKS’ REACTION TO RICKY GERVAIS.

TOM HANKS FELT SIMILARLY.

WHEN YOU JUST WANNA FIND AN OPEN SPOT AT THE BAR…

BUSY PHILIPPS IS ALWAYS THERE TO SUPPORT BESTIE MICHELLE WILLIAMS. TONIGHT WAS NO EXCEPTION, AS SHE CHEERED ON MICHELLE’S SPEECH SUPPORTING A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE…

TIFFANY HADDISH AND SALMA HAYEK WERE FEELING IT TOO…

CAUGHT ON GIF: A MARRIAGE STORY‘S ADAM DRIVER CAUGHT SMILING!

ONCE AGAIN, WHATEVER WILL FERRELL DOES IS HILARIOUS:

IF YOU DIDN’T FALL FOR ADORABLE ROMAN GRIFFIN DAVIS IN HIS MOVIE ‘JOJO RABBIT,’ YOU FELL FOR HIM LAST NIGHT…

WHEN A CAMERA IS TRAINED ON YOUR FACE FOR MOST OF THE NIGHT… WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO EXPRESSION? HERE’S BRAD’S:

AND HERE’S PACINO’S: LOOK CLOSELY AND YOU’LL SEE HE’S BREATHING.

AND FOR SOME REASON THIS IS THE ONE OF JEN THAT’S TRENDING. WE CAN DO BETTER.

Jennifer Aniston Golden Globes

EVEN IF YOU DON’T WIN, THERE’S STILL CHAMPAGNE.

AND THEN IT WAS OVER. LOOK HOW MUCH TIME YOU’VE SAVED!

FOR MORE OF THIS, OR SOMETHING ELSE, OR JUST BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU, FOLLOW @BRIANBALTHAZAR ON TWITTER.

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