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POP INTERVIEW: Maya Ezratti from Rewarding Relationships

Katy Perry! Miley Cyrus! Failed relationships! Author and relationship expert Maya Ezratti gave us her opinions on what’s wrong in Hollyweird romance lately.

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Katy Perry! Miley Cyrus! Failed relationships! Author and relationship expert Maya Ezratti gave us her opinions on what’s wrong in Hollyweird romance lately.

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Why do most reality show marriages end in divorce?
There’s too much pressure on the relationship. It can feel very forced. There’s too much exposure of a couple’s private life. The expectations are askew as well and when the cameras aren’t rolling anymore and people are no longer directed to behave in certain ways and the attention has been refocused and shifted off the couple. Reality couples tend to have a hard time with the post-show transition. There are no more fantasy dates being created for the couple, finances come into play and real life, away from TV, sets in and it’s not always as glamorous as it was on television.

Why don’t people in Hollywood ever spend time not dating anyone? Some celebrities are in the tabloids with a new boyfriend every month.
Be single? That’s a ghastly notion in Hollywood apparently. Celebrities need it for publicity. It’s also an ego boost to be paired up with someone so soon when you’re down in the dumps from a recent public breakup. Someone new can serve as a distraction in the meanwhile and keep the media talking about you. Gotta keep it hot!

How can someone be happy with themselves when not in a serious relationship?
I always like to think of the freedom we have when we are single! Singlehood rocks. No one tells you what to do! You can come and go as you please. Date, date, date, date, date when you’re single! It’s like being in the buffet line people! Take a bite outta everything that’s offered until you found the flavor of love! Stop thinking of what or who you don’t have and go wild on all you do have! Many people place their self-worth and value on their relationship status rather than on who they are as an individual and what they have personally accomplished in life. You’ve got to be happy with yourself first and always, with or without someone. I know it’s cliché and all, but it’s so basic and so true. You can’t be a hater and expect to be happy at the same time. Fill your time with things you love to do. Travel, sports, exercise, social and hobby clubs etc. Change the meaning of happiness for yourself. Are you happy at work? Great! Are you happy as a college student? Wonderful! Are you any less of a person if you’re not involved with someone right now? NO. Be happy, be free and make the choices that best suit you! Why settle?

Katy Perry says she couldn’t get out of bed for weeks after her divorce. She had critics before the wedding saying it was happening too soon. Is she being sincere about the level of her depression, or is this an act to sell her new album?
She’s being sincere. Divorce is gut wrenching. She did have a whirlwind romance with her ex, Russell Brand, but she thought she was in it for the long haul. Quick romances are hard because it’s too much too soon and then the relationship unravels at an even faster pace and things end badly. In Katy’s case it’s even worse because it’s a public humiliation. Katy’s lucky it was only a matter of weeks that she felt she couldn’t get out of bed. Thank g-d for her that she is a busy woman and had a career to get back to! That saved her. It can be months or years where people are just severely depressed and don’t have the wherewithal to deal with anything. Divorce sucks the life out of you! It’s truly unimaginable. It’s the worst to go through, but on the other hand, when you’re done, you’re DONE! You’re out. You’re free. No more emotional imprisonment. I’m happy for Katy that she’s moved on. She’s amazing. And if she used any of her pain to promote sales in her industry, then bravo! She was able to avenge her heartbreak by creating a profit! Sounds like a final win to me.

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Can negatively perceived publicity break an already failing relationship? Is it possible that Miley Cyrus broke up with her boyfriend after the VMAs because he couldn’t handle the media pressure of dating a Top 40 star?
Sure it’s possible. They were on and off again at that point. Rumors were flying about Liam Hemsworth having been unfaithful with January Jones. Miley’s ex is gorgeous! Did she cheat? Did he cheat? Yes, negative publicity can totally break up a couple. It causes strains on the relationship and gets into he-said/she-said and the couple starts blaming one another and that’s dangerous territory. Between bruised egos and emotional vulnerability, strains on the relationship become evident.

“The Millionaire Matchmaker” is returning for a new season. Is it possible for anyone to find true love on TV, and on this show, where the whole premise is women dating men because they have millions in the bank?
Great question! Yes it’s possible for people to find true love on TV. It may not seem like the standard, more ordinary, traditional way for people to fall in love. But when it comes to falling in love, who cares how or where you fell in love?! You’re in love! BRAVO! And that’s the best part! You could meet on the bus, in the office, walking to your car back from lunch, at the gym, on vacation, in college, ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE! And yes, even on TV. Look at Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter from ABC’s The Bachelorette. They met on reality TV and fell in love. They married in 2003 and have two children and are happily married still today in October 2013. ABC’s The Bachelorette Ashley Hebert fell in love on the show with J.P. Rosenbaum and they got married in 2013. ABC’s The Bachelor Sean Lowe also fell in love with the cameras rolling and he is set to marry his fiancé Catherine Guidici. Look at Snooki Nicole Polizzi. She fell in love on MTV’s reality TV show, Jersey Shore, got engaged to fellow cast member Jionni LaValle and the couple now have a baby boy. So love does exist and last on TV. Not every TV relationship works out but not every non-TV relationship works out either. Yes, the premise of the show is matchmaking millionaires and the people meeting one another on the show are looking for love just like the rest of us, they are just willing to take a bigger, more public gamble in the game of love. Sure, people can be opportunists, but that happens in front of the cameras and off. When it comes to finding true love, don’t be afraid to try all options. Maximize the playing field.

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The program’s host, Patti Stanger, has all kinds of rules she makes contestants follow about what they say and what they wear. Call me cheesy, but I think someone should like you with any hairstyle or mannerisms. They’ll eventually find out anyway. Who’s right: Patti with her strict dating rules…or me?
Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, Patti is correct in this case. Patti’s not changing someone’s personality. She’s just toning down the volume or conversely, bringing it up when it comes to showcasing and highlighting each person’s best attributes whether relating to physical appearance or to personality. Some people talk too much and others not enough. People get nervous on dates, inadvertently, and end up saying ridiculous things or they forget to inquire about their date or they don’t know how to have a fun, easy going conversation and they end up being boring (the worst) or too aggressive and sound like reporters interviewing their subject instead of just getting to know one another. That is why they seek Patti’s help or the help of relationship coaches like me. They are unsuccessful in dating love and relationships. MEN ARE VISUAL!!! So are women by the way. On first dates, you don’t have much to go on, so you are judging on looks and style and hair and mannerisms. The guy can be the nicest guy in the world, but if he looks like a putz and hasn’t updated his look since the year of the flood, then the girl won’t care how nice and amazing he is. She’s already checked out! And the same goes with men. Men don’t want their dates to show up looking masculine or looking like they just came out of a business meeting. Men don’t want their dates showing up with bad hair and cheap looking attire which sends messages to men that “I don’t care about myself, I don’t care about how I look, why would I care about you? I’m not even worthy of this date. I couldn’t even be bothered to look good.” And to your point about people eventually finding out how you really behave and look irregardless of the initial dating phase, yes, that may be true, but by then hopefully each person has fallen in love with the other and can accept a little bit of a less unkempt look if you will. Although, I caution you, never get too unkempt! You’re in a relationship or marriage for the long haul (hopefully). Don’t make it boring right off the bat. It’s never attractive to date or be married to someone who just doesn’t ever care or make ANY modicum of effort to dress up for his or her partner. It’s unromantic. It sends of signals of “I’m not so interested in you or in us anymore.” That’s dangerous!

Entertainment

LISTEN AND VOTE: Madonna Has A New Single. What Do You Think?

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Madonna has released her first single in three years. Her highly-anticipated 14th studio album Madame X will be released on June 14 – but the first single is out now.

The premiere single, “Medellin,”features Colombian superstar Maluma. She credits her experiences living in Lisbon, Portugal over the past several years as a strong influence into the tracks. 15 new songs will lean heavily into Latin and global beats. (Not to mention Maluma’s incredible popularity – he has nearly six million followers on twitter.)

Lisbon is where my record was born,” Madonna says. “I found my tribe there and a magical world of incredible musicians that reinforced my belief that music across the world is truly all connected and is the soul of the universe.

 LISTEN AND VOTE IN OUR POLL BELOW!

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Entertainment

Nine Types Of Facebook Posts That Are Insufferable, Needy Or Annoying

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We all know someone who does these.

Facebook is like a window into a person’s soul – and it doesn’t take much to see when someone is looking for your attention. Do you know someone whose guilty of these nine Facebook faux pas?

THE “I’M CLEANING OUT MY FACEBOOK FRIEND LIST, HOPE YOU MAKE THE CUT!” POST

We all know a person who decides they are going to going to edit down their friend list and posts a not so thinly veiled warning to their friends that, horror of horrors, maybe they will be among those ousted! It’s like the hunger games, except no one really cares if they’re killed off. Let’s examine the real intention here: they want you to say ‘please don’t unfriend me!’  What they fail to realize is how many people are dying to sarcastically say ‘I’m shaking… Oh no. How will I go on without you?’ If you want to edit down your friend list, go nuts – but do it quietly, without the rallying cry for attention. Chances are the people who are begging you to keep them aren’t going to be unfriended anyway because they feed into your exasperating neediness regularly already.

THE “I’M TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR A WHILE. SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS” POST

If social media is such a drain on your life, why do you need to use social media to announce your desperately needed hiatus? The absence of posts more than likely will go completely unnoticed by your friends because, you see, they actually follow other people too. Again, this is a post that is seeking some sort of comforting or validation. If Facebook is the means in which you keep up with someone you truly have a close personal relationship with, you might instead tell them personally that you can be best reached by phone or email. If an announcement needs to be broadcast, the intention is not one of genuine concern. Again, it’s done out of neediness.

THE “PLEASE RESPECT MY PRIVACY” POST

A recent friend posted a lot of details about their breakup. Details no one asked for, and followed it up with “please respect our privacy.”

This, to me, was hilarious. This is the physical equivalent of getting a megaphone and going to a public park, shouting out about your painful breakup, and then saying ‘but please, don’t ask me about it, it’s very personal.” Think of Facebook like a town crier: it’s shouting everything you say to a few thousand (or more) people. If you want privacy, don’t say it at all. (Unless of course, you do want the attention, then by all means, do exactly this.)

Lastly, you’re not Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. If you don’t have a career that requires you to have a press agent, you probably don’t need to worry about the paparazzi asking for more details.

THE “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON!” POST

No one cares about your vague announcement announcing a future announcement that no doubt will delight us all. Save the ‘big news’ for when there is actually big news to announce.

THE BLOODY CUTS, STITCHES OR BLISTERS POST

People cut themselves, it’s true.  But there is no reason to put your recent bloody injury on Facebook. Yes, you’ll receive a flurry of ‘are you okay?!,’ or ‘so sorry that happened to you!’ comments, but the truth is, no one really cares to see it. It’s gross.

If you want to see – or show – something gross, put it on YouTube where people can go looking for it.

POSING FOR A PICTURE WITH AN ELDERLY PERSON CLOSE TO DEATH IN A HOSPITAL BED AND POSTING IT

Ask yourself – when you’re 90 years old, do you want someone taking your photo and showing the world what a wonderful person they are for being with you, and in turn revealing how frail and sick you’ve become? Think before you post deathbed photos. Are you really doing it for them? Or for you? Instead, how about a written status saying how much you love them, or a photo from when they were feeling better and fully themselves, living life to the fullest might be a better option.

THE “LET’S SEE WHO READS MY STATUSES. IF YOU DO, YOU’LL REPOST THIS RANT” POST.

No I won’t. Yeah, I can see that post where you say ‘if you see this and read it, you should copy and paste it and post it to prove it to me.’ Then it goes on to comment about stuff most people have no interest in sharing. How lovely, a chain letter based on an imposed obligation to validate someone. In summary: Facebook isn’t about testing people’s friendship. Stop.

THE “PLEASE SEND PRAYERS” (BUT I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHY!) POST

I’m all for supporting people with the power of prayer. And it’s actually because prayers are powerful – and a very personal request – that it seems only fair to explain what we’re praying for. If you are going to ask for something from your peer group as sacred as prayer, it’s only fair to explain what you’re going through, rather than place the burden on the reader to dig and ask. Again, this is a status that brings it back to the poster, and not the potential recipient of the prayers themselves.

BONUS: this one might not make you needy, but it’s worth noting:

THE “I HEREBY DO NOT APPROVE OF FACEBOOK USING MY PHOTOS FOR ANY REASON AND I THINK THIS IS ACTUALLY A LEGAL STATEMENT PREVENTING THEM FROM DOING SO” POST.

Here’s the thing: You use Facebook for free, and you upload your photos onto their servers – drive space that is theirs, not yours. Your blah blah ‘legal’ proclamation gives you no rights. For nearly a decade there has been a hoax announcement saying Facebook was going to publish your photos for everyone to see, and it hasn’t been true yet. And yet – by signing up for Facebook you are agreeing to their terms of service, (look them up if you’re confused) which means no matter what you post in your status you’re not going to have any legal right to change that agreement. Here’s the bottom line: The best way to deny Facebook’s access to your photos is not to upload them there.

For more pop culture ridiculousness follow @BrianBalthazar on twitter! He’s also cleaning out his facebook friends soon, (everyone is so worried!) so there’s room for more on facebook too!

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Celebrities

Cher Slapped, Sang And Lip-Synched Her Way Through Her ‘Tonight Show’ Takeover

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If I could turn back time, I would watch Cher take over The Tonight Show again and again.

Give me a rapid vibrato and a strong hair flip and I am just about the happiest man on earth. There isn’t much the iconic Cher can’t do as proven by her lengthy career as an actress, singer and now broadway producer, so it was no surprise when she became one of The Tonight Show‘s most memorable guests in history last night. Cher wasted no time diving into the fun, giving host, Jimmy Fallon, a helping hand with his opening monologue. And by helping hand I mean she slapped him…not once but twice! I am now twice as jealous of Jimmy Fallon. The slap was of course a recreation of Cher’s legendary slap from her Oscar-award winning role in Moonstruck. All these years later and it is still a very effective way of shutting people up.

The Cher-takeover didn’t stop there! Cher hit the couch to answer some burning questions that fans (me) wanted to know about life as a living legend. During her chat she opened up about how painfully shy she was and is despite growing up in show business. She revealed that she was actually so afraid to sing in intimate settings that she lied about disliking “I Got You Babe” when Sonny Bono first introduced it to her just so she wouldn’t have to sing on the spot. It’s hard to imagine the showgirl being so shy but she confirmed that “it was really terrible, I was so shy.” During the chat Cher also confessed that she’s never actually heard a good impression of her! Even though she has to be one of the most impersonated celebrities of all time, she said she struggles to find any inkling of herself in all of the weird facial expressions and “bullish*t”!!! God I love her. The hour then segued to Cher’s new, autobiographical, hit Broadway musical The Cher Show which prompted a performance of “I Got You Babe” by the musical’s Sonny and young Cher, Jarrod Spector and Micaela Diamond. The audience nearly fell out and I audibly gasped when Cher herself joined Spector to finish the performance.

Of course a Tonight Show takeover would not be complete without a little lip-sync battle. This lip-sync battle was different than any other, however, as both Cher and Jimmy lip-synched to drunk bar patron renditions of Cher’s “Believe.” That’s right, Jimmy sent a camera crew to a karaoke bar at 1am and filmed their takes on the classic hit and used those vocals as the source of the lip-sync! Everything about this is hilarious!

The hour seemed to fly by and things only got more exciting as Jimmy brought the three leads from The Cher Show to the couch. Stephanie J. Block, Teal Wicks and Micaela Diamond cozied up next to Cher and gushed about what an incredible experience it has been working with such an icon. All four ladies closed the hour with an incredibly performance of “If I Could Turn Back Time” and how I wish I could just to be able to relive this hour over and over! I do believe this hour will go down in books as one of the best Tonight Show moments in history.

Like what you read? Follow @ChrisSiretz in Twitter and Instagram

 

 

 

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