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Charlie Sheen Strikes Back at Chuck Lorre for Sheen-Less “Two and a Half Men”

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Charlie Sheen may have said some nice things about Chuck Lorre and “Two and a Half Men” while trying to get back on the show (don’t they look so happy above…?  good ol’ times…), but the second he finds out it ain’t happening…the daggers start to fly.

After finding out that Lorre plans to reboot “Two and a Half Men” without him, Sheen released a letter to TMZ, calling Lorre many things, including a “nut-less sociopath.”

The letter reads:

Good Luck Chuck

MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool. A-hole p*ssy loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath; I’ll beat your chicken shit soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender. Something you left at the door every time you blundered into the pathetic AA loser lounge. Newsflash; they are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore. Wow, I’m sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach’em how to be a stupid b*tch.

A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat.

I’m out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear;

NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW.

And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.

– Charlie Sheen

Wow…think there’s still an ego going?

Last night, in what seems to be a funnier, classier response, Lorre referenced Sheen in the vanity card attached to ‘The Big Bang Theory’, saying:

Dear Concerned Viewers,

Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight’s episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.

Get it?

As previously reported, Lorre has spoken to both CBS and Warner Bros. about making a Sheen-less “Two and a Half Men” that would revolve  around Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, and another unnamed actor.  The question is…can Sheen’s Torpedo of Truth tour last as long as eight seasons?  Becuase seriously, I don’t know what the heck he plans on doing after his tour is over…MAJOR LEAGUE 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10?  Anybody?

Awkward

AWKWARD: Ross Didn’t Like His Pet Monkey On ‘Friends’?!?

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Remember back in the 90’s on Friends when Ross got a pet monkey while living in New York City and no one batted an eye? Those were truly simpler times. Here in the jaded 2019, we just discovered that David Schwimmer didn’t like working with that monkey and now I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Last night, Matt LeBlanc stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote his latest sitcom, Man With A Plan, but it was his chat about a particular Friends star that has the internet buzzing. When Jimmy Kimmel coyly asked if Matt keeps in touch with Marcel the monkey (who is actually named Katie in real life), Matt shared a nugget of information that I wasn’t prepared to ingest. David Schwimmer did not like working with the monkey!

“I liked the monkey! I like animals, and the monkey was really cool. Schwimmer… Not so much. He’s the one that had to work with it the most, so he was like, ‘Again with the monkey?’ But I got along great with it.”

Ouch. Right in the nostalgia. Apparently Katie the monkey wasn’t always the most cooperative co-star as Matt recounted the time she forced taping to come to a complete halt when she climbed above the lighting grid to hang out on the ceiling. It took about thirty minutes and a few mealworms to finally get the monkey back down to the set! Talk about a diva.

Check out the fun interview below! Click ahead to 3:05 mark to hear all about the monkey business.

Like what you read? Follow @ChrisSiretz on Twitter and Instagram

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VIDEO: The 38 Seconds Of Video Lori Loughlin’s Daughter Olivia Jade Is Regretting Right Now.

In a video from last year, Loughlin’s daughter says she will balance trips to Fiji and NYC into her school calendar, “doesn’t know how much of school (she is) going to attend” but she wants the experience of game days, partying, and “doesn’t really care about school, as you know.”

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As mom Lori Loughlin faces allegations she paid 500,000 to help get her daughter Olivia Jade into college as a member of the crew team – even sending photographs of her daughter on a rowing machine to create the impression she was an athlete – a video made by her daughter in August is making the rounds again for the embarrassing references she makes to not even caring about getting an education in the first place.

Follow @brianbalthazar on twitter.

In the video, an entitled Olivia Jade, a YouTuber followed by 2 million people on the video platform, says she will balance trips to Fiji and NYC into her school calendar, “doesn’t know how much of school (she is) going to attend” but she wants the experience of game days, partying, and “doesn’t really care about school, as you know.”

Why she hasn’t taken this video down yet completely escapes me.

Naturally, social media has unleashed upon her, although it is unclear whether Olivia Jade even know her entrance into college was a result of bribes, (if the allegations are proven correct.)

In either case, the social media celebrity had to apologize days after this video first came out, and is more than likely wishing she had taken it down entirely now…

 

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WATCH: This Champagne Tower Video Does Not End Well

This guy will have a story to tell for the rest of his life.

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