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Charlie Sheen’s “Torpedo Of Truth” Seems To Be Bombing.

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Just like a torpedo, it seems the first night of Charlie Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour” seems to be a bomb… and the audience in Detroit is reacting with boos.

Entertainment Weekly was live blogging from the scene, and it seems like the event has been a hot mess. After an opening comedy act was booed off the stage, the real mayhem seemed to be whether the show was starting, stopping – what was happening at all. When things finally got started, it went from bad to worse. A few moments from the first 45 minutes:

9:15 — Nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!”

9:20 — People start booing. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

9:35 — The show started late and has become a padded and disjointed mess. Currently onstage, an old lame movie starring Johnny Depp is playing. (I think the film is called RPG?) People are booing. Sheen stops the video and says, “Okay, so RPG was a bomb. Tonight is an experiment.” This is a disaster.

9:40 — Sheen says he’s going to “Tell some stories about crack. I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories. Show of hands who here has tried crack? I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f—ing night to do some crack.” The audience boos.

9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.”

Whether or not Sheen had the smarts to work with a great live event producer remains to be seen, but he did have the smarts to make sure he still gets his money no matter what. The tickets have an escape clause buried in the fine print that says the ticket “is not subject to any refund and shall bear no cash value,’

The cheapest seats for the multi-city tour are $79.50, with prices going up to $519.

My take: Who’s really to blame here? Charlie Sheen for putting on a lousy show? Or the countless people who were stupid enough to pay ridiculous prices to see somebody they already know is a total mess?

For more quotes from Entertainment Weekly’s live blog of the night, click HERE.

Awkward

AWKWARD: Ross Didn’t Like His Pet Monkey On ‘Friends’?!?

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Remember back in the 90’s on Friends when Ross got a pet monkey while living in New York City and no one batted an eye? Those were truly simpler times. Here in the jaded 2019, we just discovered that David Schwimmer didn’t like working with that monkey and now I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Last night, Matt LeBlanc stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote his latest sitcom, Man With A Plan, but it was his chat about a particular Friends star that has the internet buzzing. When Jimmy Kimmel coyly asked if Matt keeps in touch with Marcel the monkey (who is actually named Katie in real life), Matt shared a nugget of information that I wasn’t prepared to ingest. David Schwimmer did not like working with the monkey!

“I liked the monkey! I like animals, and the monkey was really cool. Schwimmer… Not so much. He’s the one that had to work with it the most, so he was like, ‘Again with the monkey?’ But I got along great with it.”

Ouch. Right in the nostalgia. Apparently Katie the monkey wasn’t always the most cooperative co-star as Matt recounted the time she forced taping to come to a complete halt when she climbed above the lighting grid to hang out on the ceiling. It took about thirty minutes and a few mealworms to finally get the monkey back down to the set! Talk about a diva.

Check out the fun interview below! Click ahead to 3:05 mark to hear all about the monkey business.

Like what you read? Follow @ChrisSiretz on Twitter and Instagram

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VIDEO: The 38 Seconds Of Video Lori Loughlin’s Daughter Olivia Jade Is Regretting Right Now.

In a video from last year, Loughlin’s daughter says she will balance trips to Fiji and NYC into her school calendar, “doesn’t know how much of school (she is) going to attend” but she wants the experience of game days, partying, and “doesn’t really care about school, as you know.”

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As mom Lori Loughlin faces allegations she paid 500,000 to help get her daughter Olivia Jade into college as a member of the crew team – even sending photographs of her daughter on a rowing machine to create the impression she was an athlete – a video made by her daughter in August is making the rounds again for the embarrassing references she makes to not even caring about getting an education in the first place.

Follow @brianbalthazar on twitter.

In the video, an entitled Olivia Jade, a YouTuber followed by 2 million people on the video platform, says she will balance trips to Fiji and NYC into her school calendar, “doesn’t know how much of school (she is) going to attend” but she wants the experience of game days, partying, and “doesn’t really care about school, as you know.”

Why she hasn’t taken this video down yet completely escapes me.

Naturally, social media has unleashed upon her, although it is unclear whether Olivia Jade even know her entrance into college was a result of bribes, (if the allegations are proven correct.)

In either case, the social media celebrity had to apologize days after this video first came out, and is more than likely wishing she had taken it down entirely now…

 

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WATCH: This Champagne Tower Video Does Not End Well

This guy will have a story to tell for the rest of his life.

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