Just like a torpedo, it seems the first night of Charlie Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour” seems to be a bomb… and the audience in Detroit is reacting with boos.

Entertainment Weekly was live blogging from the scene, and it seems like the event has been a hot mess. After an opening comedy act was booed off the stage, the real mayhem seemed to be whether the show was starting, stopping – what was happening at all. When things finally got started, it went from bad to worse. A few moments from the first 45 minutes:

9:15 — Nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!”

9:20 — People start booing. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

9:35 — The show started late and has become a padded and disjointed mess. Currently onstage, an old lame movie starring Johnny Depp is playing. (I think the film is called RPG?) People are booing. Sheen stops the video and says, “Okay, so RPG was a bomb. Tonight is an experiment.” This is a disaster.

9:40 — Sheen says he’s going to “Tell some stories about crack. I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories. Show of hands who here has tried crack? I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f—ing night to do some crack.” The audience boos.

9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.”

Whether or not Sheen had the smarts to work with a great live event producer remains to be seen, but he did have the smarts to make sure he still gets his money no matter what. The tickets have an escape clause buried in the fine print that says the ticket “is not subject to any refund and shall bear no cash value,’

The cheapest seats for the multi-city tour are $79.50, with prices going up to $519.

My take: Who’s really to blame here? Charlie Sheen for putting on a lousy show? Or the countless people who were stupid enough to pay ridiculous prices to see somebody they already know is a total mess?

For more quotes from Entertainment Weekly’s live blog of the night, click HERE.