Sabrina Bryan turned out to be the belle of the ball, for Part 2 of “Guilty Pleasures” on DWTS. She and Louis were the high scorers of the night, earning 29 points for their dreamy waltz to “So This is Love,” from the Cinderella soundtrack. In this non-elimination week, the rest of the field landed in a 4-way tie, all with 27 points.

I think the producers should have probably given the stars a few more tips about what constitutes a “guilty pleasure.” Melissa picked Britney Spears’ “Toxic,” which makes sense. But only Shawn could feel guilty about the Titanic theme, “My Heart Will Go On.”

Having said that, she and Derek offered a wonderfully romantic rumba, danced atop a raised circular “island” in the middle of the floor. In a brilliant bit of staging, Derek slid over the edge at the end of the dance, and sank into the fog. (At this point I may or may not have shouted, “SAVE HIM, SHAWN!”) Bruno was on his feet, and gave the couple raves about showing an emotional connection, describing the routine as “flawless.” Carrie Ann was also full of praise, but managed to chastise them for including what she considered a lift. While the audience booed her for that, Tom chimed in with, “Tonight, Carrie Ann plays the iceberg.” Reasons Why I Love Tom Bergeron #85.

Dance of the night:  I think Len said it best. “It wasn’t tight, it wasn’t together, but it was fun.”  Please feast your eyes on the hot mess that is… Team “Gangnam Style.”

Who’s in trouble:  Apolo and Karina. Oy! I really wanted to love their samba to “Give it to Me, Baby,” but it was more of a fizzle than a sizzle. Carrie Ann hit the nail on the head when she said, “Something is not quite right.” She went on to explain that the dance was “good,” but it’s not where Apolo should be at this point in the competition. I have to agree.  So far, his charisma is just not shining through this season. C’mon, Apolo. Give me that stuff… that sweet, funky stuff.

Best moment: During Len’s critique of Melissa and Tony’s tango, Tom reminded him that Melissa had been “taken off in an ambulance two days ago.”  Len said to Tom, “Keep your witty comments to yourself.”  Tom replied, “That was more of a factual comment in an attempt to find your beating heart.” Reasons Why I Love Tom Bergeron #86.

Quotable quote:  “Give me that towel, I’m wetting myself!” – Bruno Tonioli, to Gilles after Team “Gangnam Style” completed their routine.  And now we know the answer to that pertinent question about Gilles: it’s boxer briefs.

Headscratcher:  Head judge Len Goodman described Shawn and Derek’s rumba this way: “For me it was a Dickens novel. I had Great Expectations; I got Bleak House.” Really? Bleak House? I’m sorry, Len, but you may have slightly overestimated the audience with this one. I don’t have any real numbers, here, but I’m guessing for every Downton Abbey fan watching, you gotta figure in two Honey Boo Boos.  (Note to self:  brush up on the complete works of Dickens before the finale.  There may be a quiz.)

Scores:
Sabrina & Louis  29
Melissa & Tony   27
Shawn & Derek   27
Apolo & Karina   27
Team “Gangnam Style” 27