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Five Stories Of 2012 We’ll Still Be Talking About In 2013

Seems like the big stories of 2012 are still going to be the buzz stories of 2013. Here’s where I stand on the year of weird.

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Thanks to NBC’s Today Show for having me on to talk about my take on these big stories of 2012.  Seems like the big stories of 2012 are still going to be the buzz stories of 2013. Here’s where I stand on the year of weird. VIdeo of the Today Show Segment first, then some more below!

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The Year of Honey Boo Boo

I wonder if Snooki looks at her television and says to herself ‘That used to be me!’ I used to be that famous! Honey Boo Boo is the Snooki of 2012! In fact, just take out the Italian “Guido” sterotypes of Jersey Shore and replace those characters with “Redneck” stereotypes and you have ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” (Okay, perhaps moreso, the upcoming MTV series ‘Buckwild.”) But back to Honey Boo Boo. It has never been hotter to be a redneck. Whether you love her or hate her, we’ll be seeing a lot of Alana and June this year. I think people find their unvarnished, unpolished (and that is pretty much the biggest understatement of the year) to be refreshing in a world of skinny models and TV celebabes with plastic surgery, fish lips and implants. This family is the ANTITHESIS of that – and aside from all the antics – this is a family that truly loves and accepts one another just as they are – and that is really refreshing. I think people actually really like that – I guess they like that AND the farting. (Ugh.)

 Fifty Shades of Grey Makes Me 50 Shades Of Uncomfortable

Everything thing about this phenomenon makes me Squeamish! But I think that’s what makes it all so interesting. Generations of grown up women are acknowledging that they aren’t prudes… that they like a little sauciness in the bedroom! The funny thing is, almost everyone I speak to that has read the book admits that it is HORRIBLY written – but many women bought it JUST to see what the fuss is about… and then they’re hooked. Oddly enough, romance novels have never gone away – they’ve been there forever – but f*or some reason – this struck a chord! I just don’t want to know when the women in my family are reading it – having a family member reading it is like having to admit that your parents have a sex life – we all know it happens but none of us want to talk about i! I DON’T want to know!

But if you thought the talk of this tale would die down – think again… the books are being made into a film. Even though there’s no release date, the casting rumors are in full force.

The Breakup & Makeup of Rihanna & Chris Brown

If there anyone ever doubted that Love is complicated, I give you Chris Brown and Rihanna. This is the couple pretty much no one wants to see together… except perhaps for the two of them! I know that we don’t know the ‘whole’ story, but I think we all recognize that it sends a really bad message for Rihanna to go back to him. Please say it aint so. I can say this – a lot of people had written Chris Brown off completely after he beat up Rihanna back in 2009 – and I assure you a lot of people are going to be watching him really closely now. It’s easy to imagine that some people are probably losing some respect for Rihanna right, but one thing is for sure, if Chris so much as touches this woman in the wrong way, it’s all over for him. His career and public image will be completely destroyed forever.

PSY’s ‘Gangnam Style’ Phenomenon

This video is unstoppable! It is the first YouTube video to reach 1 Billion views – in less than six months! Take THAT Justin Bieber! (Although its interesting to note that Justin’s manager was smart enough sign PSY to a record deal too!) For years to come, anyone who wants to make a viral music video will probably look to Gangnam Style for inspiration. I’m sure some college student is doing their dissertation on it because the whole thing is pretty amazing. Especially considering how popular it is in the US and no few people even know what the song really means. It just goes to show, if you have a catchy hook and a great video, you can have a hit – it doesn’t even matter what you’re saying!!!!

Examining The Past and Predicting the Future of Lindsay Lohan

I would love to sit on the Today Show set in a year and say that 2013 was the year of Lindsay Lohan’s comeback. But I’m more and more doubtful that this will be the case. Liz And Dick was pretty much a disaster, and with the exception of a cameo In Scary Movie 5 this year, the biggest thing Lohan can look forward to this year seems to be the possibility of more jail time!

I hope someday she makes a Drew Barrymore style recovery. Once upon a time Drew was the girl everyone was worried about and now she’s a successful actress and producer. I can only hope Lohan gets it together in the same way … but in a business like showbiz, and with parents who seem to be even crazier than her, the odds are stacked against her. Then again, America loves a comeback story!

For more entertainment updates, follow @BrianBalthazar on twitter!

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Disney+ Series ‘Muppets Now’ Reveals Shocking Detail About The Swedish Chef

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Bork, Bork, Bork?!

If you haven’t taken the time to check out the new Disney+ series Muppets Now, stop reading and start streaming! The improv sitcom is an unscripted, segmented series in which our favorite fur-covered friends put together a digital show. Think The Muppet Show meets millennials. I watched the first episode, which became available for streaming as of July 31st, and I smiled through the entire thirty minutes. It’s cute and campy and reminds us all why we love The Muppets so much. I was enjoying the childhood nostalgia of seeing Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and the rest of the gang when suddenly our favorite gibberish-spewing chef came on the screen to partake in a cooking challenge. Of course I was prepared to giggle at the Swedish Chef’s horrendous attempt at cooking but I was immediately distracted and could only focus on one shocking detail!

Credit: Muppets Now

Did you see it? Can you see what I was distracted by?! The stached Swede is wearing a wedding ring on his left hand! The Swedish Chef is married?!?!

Credit: Muppets Now

I mean, sure, it’s not surprising with the sexy foreign accent and killer eyebrows but still, I would have never guessed the chef had someone waiting at home for him! Since the chef is one of the few Muppets to actually feature human hands, I first thought the ring might have belonged to a neglectful puppeteer who forgot to take off their ring. But I did a quick Wikipedia search and apparently the Swedish Chef has been donning the gold ring since 2010 and is known to be married!

I guess there truly is a lid for every pot.

Muppets Now is now available for streaming on Disney+.

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Giant Asparagus Stalk Causes Quite The Stir On Social Media

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Who would have asparaguessed?

Over the weekend, photos of a giant asparagus plant began circulating Twitter with many users stunned to learn that the plant can grow to be the size of a small tree. I was one of those users because I’ve never seen an asparagus stem longer than a fork…I’ve never seen a bunch that wasn’t ridiculously overpriced either, might I add. The sad reality is that most of us eat things everyday with absolutely no idea as to how they are  grown and farmed. I can honestly say I was always more preoccupied by the thought of the funny smelling, post-asparagus-eating pee that it never occurred to me that these plants could become overgrown. And overgrown is a bit of an overstatement.

Credit: Twitter @girlfr0g

The stem in the picture looks to be over 8 feet tall. My pee would smell funny for a whole year after eating that. The photos have sparked a debate on Twitter with some saying the plants showcased are not asparagus but agave plants instead. While asparagus stems can grow to be about 5 feet tall, agave plants can grow much taller and even bloom flowers. I have zero interest in horticulture but plenty of interest in what’s funny so I just collected a few of the funniest reactions to the asparagus/agave photo here:

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‘The Late Show With Stephen Colbert’ Parodied Dolly Parton To Create A Theme Song For All The ‘Karen’s’ Out There

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These “Karens” are workin’ 9 to 5 on our last nerve.

By now you probably know that the term “Karen” is typically reserved for white women who throw tantrums over things that don’t really require tantrum throwing. Amid the coronavirus pandemic, the “Karens” have been especially vocal about not wanting to wear a mask usually citing constitutional freedom as the reason. Over the passed few weeks we have seen headlines about these women coughing on pro-maskers, verbally assaulting eye witnesses and even destroying property all to prove the point that they can and will do whatever they want. It’s annoying. Well, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert took the these suburban lemons and turned them into a hilarious pitcher of lemonade with a parody of the Dolly Parton classic “Jolene,” appropriately renamed “Karen.”

The PSA begins with actual news footage covering the stories of anti-maskers before cutting to a vintage clip of Parton in a pink jumpsuit with an anonymous singer belting out the altered lyrics which poke fun at all the angry scene makers. “You go on rants at Trader Joe’s, sit on the ground at the Costco, say wearing masks is the devil’s law,” the unseen singer croons. “Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, please just wear a mask you big dumbass” she continues to implore.

Like all good satire, the video is hilarious but also contains an important message. The CDC as well as countless medical professionals have all agreed that wearing a mask is the best way to prevent the spread of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

Wear a mask! And check out the funny video below!

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