Charlie Sheen may have said some nice things about Chuck Lorre and “Two and a Half Men” while trying to get back on the show (don’t they look so happy above…?  good ol’ times…), but the second he finds out it ain’t happening…the daggers start to fly.
After finding out that Lorre plans to reboot “Two and a Half Men” without him, Sheen released a letter to TMZ, calling Lorre many things, including a “nut-less sociopath.”
The letter reads:
Good Luck Chuck
MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool. A-hole p*ssy loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath; I’ll beat your chicken shit soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender. Something you left at the door every time you blundered into the pathetic AA loser lounge. Newsflash; they are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore. Wow, I’m sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach’em how to be a stupid b*tch.
A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat.
I’m out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear;
NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW.
And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.
– Charlie Sheen
Wow…think there’s still an ego going?
Last night, in what seems to be a funnier, classier response, Lorre referenced Sheen in the vanity card attached to ‘The Big Bang Theory’, saying:
Dear Concerned Viewers,
Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight’s episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.
Get it?
As previously reported, Lorre has spoken to both CBS and Warner Bros. about making a Sheen-less “Two and a Half Men” that would revolve  around Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, and another unnamed actor.  The question is…can Sheen’s Torpedo of Truth tour last as long as eight seasons?  Becuase seriously, I don’t know what the heck he plans on doing after his tour is over…MAJOR LEAGUE 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10?  Anybody?