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MOVIE REVIEW: American Reunion

Mike Finkelstein is heading back home for his high school reunion. Luckily, he has been brushing up on the AMERICAN PIE films for all the things NOT to do when he gets back. Here is his review of “American Reunion.”

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Mike Finkelstein is heading back home for his high school reunion.  Luckily, he has been brushing up on the AMERICAN PIE films for all the things NOT to do when he gets back.  Here is his review of “American Reunion.”

PLOT: Jim (Jason Biggs), Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), and the whole gang head back to their hometown of East Great Falls, Michigan for their 13-year High School reunion.  Hilarity, penis accidents, and poop jokes ensue.

Check out the trailer:

MIKE’S REVIEW:  We live in the age of recycled film ideas.  Over the past few years, it seems like Hollywood has developed a passion for packing on an extra entry to an old, juicy trilogy to make some money.  Some work (SCREAM 4), and some don’t (INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL, obviously).

When AMERICAN PIE first came out, it revitalized the teen sex comedy.  It was the first of its kind since PORKY’S, and led to an entire litter of copy cats and imitators.  When you look at a movie like AMERICAN REUNION, which holds that coveted PART IV asterisk, it almost seems dated.  You’re dropping in on these old friends from back around Y2K to see how their doing and realize that nobody has grown in the slightest.  Jim is still having awkward accidents concerning sex and his penis.  Jim’s dad is still giving the same old awkward advice.  Stifler is still acting idiotic and trying to party, Finch is still making cracks about banging Stifler’s mom, and Oz and Kevin are still stuck on the girls they could never let go of.  And you feel like maybe the time has passed.  You’re older now.  They’re older now.  It’s time to move on and grow up.

But here’s the thing…Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg pile on this nostalgia factor.  And for any kid who grew up in the 90s as PIE’s target audience, that nostalgia factor is king.  There are references galore to the first three, and there’s almost a weird comfort in seeing this gang on screen again, as well as a reassurance that despite whatever problems they’re having finding themselves as “adults”, they’re still the same screwy people they’ve always been.

In turn, we get a few very amusing scenarios that will make you smile and laugh.  Jim has to deal with a neighbor whom he used to babysit turning 18, and wanting him, out of all people, to be her first (enter some physical comedy, and an ill-timed stuffed cow).  All the while, he and Michelle are trying to find their sex lives after having a baby.  (Yeah…when both scenarios meet, it leads to one of the most ridiculous group fight scenes I’ve seen on film.)  Oz, Kevin and Finch also have their issues, but besides a hell of an entrance by Finch, it’s mostly forgettable.

More than anybody else, I have to praise Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.  While I started to grow tired of Stifler’s shtick by WEDDING, I have to give Scott credit for committing so hard to the character and bringing the ridiculousness to another level.  And Jim’s Dad may have the perfect advice for every situation, but when the time comes for him to lose control, it brings us by far the best moments of the movie.

But then there’s another problem… AMERICAN PIE has been out of public view for almost a decade, now, replaced by the Judd Apatow and Will Ferrell troupes.  How do you draw in a new audience on a movie built so strongly on its predecessors?  You really can’t.  Yes, I had fun and you’ll get a few newcomers, but any audience besides my 90s group that the film was made for is automatically alienated by its subject matter.  It’s sad to say, but this probably won’t be the younger generation’s first priority to watch.  But if they haven’t seen the original trilogy yet, maybe that’s a good thing…

Despite eight years passing, our AMERICAN PIE characters have not changed in any way.  So much more could have been done with our group in this stage of our lives, but instead, AMERICAN REUNION gave us the same old jokes and the same exact structure beat for beat.  But how you enjoy the movie will really depend on where you are in your life right now.  If you’re a fan from the 90s, you’ll look past the mediocrity and be right in your comfort zone with a group of old friends.  If you’re used to loving lamp, slappin da bass, and voices that are combinations of Fergie and Jesus, then it’s more of a tossup.  For me, I have to respect Hurwitz and Schlossberg for making a film that tried to go for the heart more than the sex jokes.  Granted, that doesn’t mean I need another three or four entries (as the script so boldly hints at near the end…), but I’ll take this one as a worthy addition to the franchise, and hopefully, a nice little epilogue that lets us close the back cover of this story with an extra smile.

GRADE: B

Mike’s LIKES:

1) JIM’S DAD: Oh, Eugene Levy.  You are absolutely the man.  No matter how lost Jim’s dad is, the love for his son can still fill a football stadium.  And when the man who gives so much advice finally has his time to shine and get a little loving, you’ll be on the floor.  “The Fuzz!!!!”

2) MOTHERS: Stifler’s mom isn’t the only lucky lady to show up…all I can say is that it’s been a long time coming…

3) MUSIC TIME CAPSULE: Quick!  Think of every 90s rock hit you can think of in the next three seconds!  Everything that just came to your mind shows up, most specifically within the last half hour of the film.  Kind of cool, kind of sappy, kind of makes you want to dig out your old Semisonic cassette.

4) MILF! MILF! MILF!: John Cho and Justin Isfeld.  I could have sworn these two were gay.  Apparently not.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t still love the MILF chant, and how dramatic their reunion turns out to be.

5) STIFLER: Like I said, I got tired of the Stifmeister’s shtick a long time ago.  But 80% of the crazy moments you will remember from REUNION has to do with him, and without Stifler, this movie would have been nothing (makes sense now why every straight-to-DVD Presents entry has Stifler’s brother or cousin or long lost nephew once removed…)

Mike’s DISLIKES:

1) SAME STRUCTURE: It’s the same story, down to the emotional “Full House”-ish talking-it-out moment.  If you’re coming back after eight years, give us something new and different.  Reinvent yourself.  Don’t just rip off the same skeleton from before.

2) OZ/KEVIN: There’s a reason why Oz wasn’t in WEDDING.  He’s really kind of boring.  To be honest, both Kevin and Oz are.  Yes, their stories are sweet, but if they were gone, I don’t think anybody would really miss them.

3) JET SKIS: A little too crazy.  I was expecting cops to show up at someone’s door the rest of the movie, but nothing.  A huge stunt that just disappeared when it could have had some ridiculously awkward/fun repercussions.

EXTRA FACTS:

1) The excuse for a 13-year high school reunion (odd number, no?) is that the school could not get the gang’s act together for a 10-year reunion.

2) First AMERICAN PIE movie not written by Adam Herz.

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The Pentagon Has Released Official UFO Videos Because 2020 Is The Absolute Worst

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Aren’t swarms of locusts supposed to be the next installment of this plague?!

Can we finally declare 2020 as the worst year ever? In January there were fears of a third World War. In February the coronavirus began its rapid spread. In March the world essentially shut down due to social distancing and quarantining. And now in April…with only two days left in the month…we have official government footage of unidentified flying objects. I’m sorry but Milton Bradley’s game of “Life” never prepared me for any of this!

The Pentagon has confirmed the authenticity of three videos that have been circulating the web but didn’t really answer what is visible in them. In the videos, now declassified by the Department of Defense, navy pilots capture “unidentified aerial phenomena” aka unidentified flying objects aka UFOs! Pentagon officials were sure to state that the videos do not show “any sensitive capabilities or systems,” meaning we probably won’t be seeing any little green men any time soon.

The first video dates back to November 2004 and the other two from January 2015. Of the Pentagon’s confirmation of authenticity, Pentagon spokesperson Sue Gough said the videos were released “in order to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real, or whether or not there is more to the videos.”

So great. We now know that these strange videos are real but what exactly are we looking at? Well, the Department of Defense says it has no concrete answer as to what might be floating around the skies and has classified the phenomena as “unidentified.” And…just like that I suddenly feel less defended.

Social media is having a field day with this revelation of course. The #AliensAreReal has been trending high on Twitter since the news broke. One user referenced Independence Day and said the aliens are “getting ready for July 4th.” Of the bad timing, another wrote “Et tu aliens?” And finally one user couldn’t help avoid sarcasm and wrote”Where’s the space force when you need it?”

Well 2020, you have worked your awful black magic once again. What’s next, cat videos get banned from the internet?! You’ve taken everything else from us!

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Priest Accidentally Forgets To Turn Off Filters Before Live Streaming Mass

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The internet is having a field day with the innocent mistake of biblical proportions.

With new social distancing guidelines, many churches have closed to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus. And while that doesn’t justify all the wine you’ve been chugging during your self quarantine, it does have many people practicing their faith from their homes. One Italian priest was just trying to recite a little prayer for his followers when he accidentally left a filter feature on during the broadcast! In the clip the priest is digitally adorned with a space helmet, workout gear, a fedora and sunglasses and more.

Social media went nuts for the video, which has now gone viral. One comment reads “He just doubled his holy power.” Another reads “Father, Son and Holy Influencer.” One commenter couldn’t resist a good pun and said the video is having a “Mass effect.”

Enjoy your daily blessing and take a look at the funny video below!

 

Priest in Italy live streams mass, activates filters by mistake from r/funny

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Danny DeVito Passionately Urges New Yorkers To Stay Home…And Twitter Agrees!

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For the love of Danny DeVito, stay home!

The world is in a dark place right now and I am not sure how much more bad news we can handle. That’s why when I saw Danny DeVito’s name trending on Twitter I froze. Our great nation could very well crumble if anything bad was to happen to such an icon right now. With extreme trepidation I clicked on the social media link and was relieved to see that good ol’ Danny boy is just strumming up hype because he is passionately urging New Yorkers to stay home.

Amid the coronavirus outbreak, Governor Andrew Cuomo has been driving New Yorkers to stay home and has taken every precaution short of shutting the state down completely to help prevent the virus from spreading. Because New Yorkers can be hard headed, it doesn’t hurt to have some famous friends reiterate your message. Big names like Lala Anthony, Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller have all made appearances on Cuomo’s social media pleading with New Yorker’s to heed the governors warning. Only one celebrity was able to make it to Twitter’s trending page however and that was none other than Danny DeVito. DeVito’s message is simple…stay home! In the two minute video, DeVito reminds fans that it’s not just up to the elderly to isolate themselves. “Young people can get it and they can transmit it to old people and the next thing you know – I’m out of there” says the actor. We must save him!

Twitter went into a frenzy with many users agreeing that we need to stay home for Danny. One user wrote “When Danny speaks, I listen.” Another passionately wrote “If you idiots kill Danny DeVito I SWEAR TO GOD.” One promoted DeVito from the icon status I previously awarded him and said “WE GOTTA PROTECT WORLD TREASURE DANNY DeVITO.” 

Take a look at the video below and for the love of the newly minted national treasure, stay home!

 

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