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Real Time Review: Superbowl Halftime, Where’s Janet?!

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Tonight is the 52nd Superbowl and while I spent most of the evening thinking a “pigskin” was a crunchy hors d’oeurve, I am excited for the half time show! I am writing this in real time so the exclamation marks may be excessive but I like to live in a world of extremes. Justin Timberlake is the headliner for the event, and seeing as he is a stellar performer the expectations are high. As we all remember, the last time Justin performed at the Superbowl, the nip-slip heard round the world occurred when he “accidentally” pulled on Janet Jackson’s breast plate causing her nipple to become exposed. Perhaps tonight’s performance can generate the same amount of buzz but with a PG rating this time.

Justin’s entrance was just announced by a pre-recorded Jimmy Fallon aka Justin’s prime time bestie. Justin is making his entrance through the underbelly of the stadium, which is kind of sexy in a gritty locker room kind of way, making his first song “Filthy” an apt choice. Once he made his way to the stage we are treated to a spectacular laser performance. There is definitely money being spent on the visual components this year. The band behind Justin is the Tennessee Kids and they look like they are having a ball. I love the aubergine suits on the band and dancers, as they compliment Justin’s orange neck bandana nicely. Is bandana code still a thing?

He is giving us the best of his hits; “Senorita”, “Rock Ya Body,” and” Sexy Back.” Classic Justin. But I have yet to see the “wow factor”. Where’s the Left Shark of 2018?!? Still no Janet. No N’Sync reunion yet. Not even a glance of an applauding Joey Fatone in the crowd?!?

A white baby grand is always a good indication of a show stopper. Dramatic light cue. Janet?!? No It’s Prince, as in the artist formerly known as. This is a nice Superbowl moment. A large fabric panel has been dropped while an oversized projection of Prince and Justin sing “I Would Die 4 U.” Definitely a nice performance followed up with a two finger salute to Prince, but I am hoping this revs up to another special guest.

Another dramatic cue change. The stage is now mirrored and he is singing “Mirrors.” That was an easy design choice. The dancers on the field are holding mirrors above their heads to reflect the bright stadium lights. It makes for a really impressive effect. If one mirror shatters does that mean it’s 7 years bad halftime performances?

Another cue change and this time it’s colorful. Justin is singing “Can’t Stop The Feeling,” which is a fun way to get the crowd hyped up for the second half of the game. As he leaps into the audience and takes a selfie with a young fan, I can’t help but think how cool it would be to be that fan. He is probably 10 years old and  not only got to see arguably the biggest sporting event of the year, but also has a selfie with the JT! Sidebar, no Janet. No N’Sync.

That’s it?! It’s over? I always thought the performances were longer. Sad. I wanted more. It was a fun performance and if I was at a Justin Timberlake concert at Madison Square Garden I would have loved it, but I think we all had our hopes set higher for such a big event. I don’t know if the internet will count this as redemption, but at least it was PG.

In case you missed it, here is the song set from tonight:

Filthy

Rock Ya Body

Senorita

Sexy Back

My Love

Cry Me a River

Suit and Tie

End of time

I Would Die 4 U ft. Prince

Mirrors

Can’t Stop the Feeling

 

Happy Superbowl! Go sports!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Pentagon Has Released Official UFO Videos Because 2020 Is The Absolute Worst

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Aren’t swarms of locusts supposed to be the next installment of this plague?!

Can we finally declare 2020 as the worst year ever? In January there were fears of a third World War. In February the coronavirus began its rapid spread. In March the world essentially shut down due to social distancing and quarantining. And now in April…with only two days left in the month…we have official government footage of unidentified flying objects. I’m sorry but Milton Bradley’s game of “Life” never prepared me for any of this!

The Pentagon has confirmed the authenticity of three videos that have been circulating the web but didn’t really answer what is visible in them. In the videos, now declassified by the Department of Defense, navy pilots capture “unidentified aerial phenomena” aka unidentified flying objects aka UFOs! Pentagon officials were sure to state that the videos do not show “any sensitive capabilities or systems,” meaning we probably won’t be seeing any little green men any time soon.

The first video dates back to November 2004 and the other two from January 2015. Of the Pentagon’s confirmation of authenticity, Pentagon spokesperson Sue Gough said the videos were released “in order to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real, or whether or not there is more to the videos.”

So great. We now know that these strange videos are real but what exactly are we looking at? Well, the Department of Defense says it has no concrete answer as to what might be floating around the skies and has classified the phenomena as “unidentified.” And…just like that I suddenly feel less defended.

Social media is having a field day with this revelation of course. The #AliensAreReal has been trending high on Twitter since the news broke. One user referenced Independence Day and said the aliens are “getting ready for July 4th.” Of the bad timing, another wrote “Et tu aliens?” And finally one user couldn’t help avoid sarcasm and wrote”Where’s the space force when you need it?”

Well 2020, you have worked your awful black magic once again. What’s next, cat videos get banned from the internet?! You’ve taken everything else from us!

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Priest Accidentally Forgets To Turn Off Filters Before Live Streaming Mass

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The internet is having a field day with the innocent mistake of biblical proportions.

With new social distancing guidelines, many churches have closed to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus. And while that doesn’t justify all the wine you’ve been chugging during your self quarantine, it does have many people practicing their faith from their homes. One Italian priest was just trying to recite a little prayer for his followers when he accidentally left a filter feature on during the broadcast! In the clip the priest is digitally adorned with a space helmet, workout gear, a fedora and sunglasses and more.

Social media went nuts for the video, which has now gone viral. One comment reads “He just doubled his holy power.” Another reads “Father, Son and Holy Influencer.” One commenter couldn’t resist a good pun and said the video is having a “Mass effect.”

Enjoy your daily blessing and take a look at the funny video below!

 

Priest in Italy live streams mass, activates filters by mistake from r/funny

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Danny DeVito Passionately Urges New Yorkers To Stay Home…And Twitter Agrees!

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For the love of Danny DeVito, stay home!

The world is in a dark place right now and I am not sure how much more bad news we can handle. That’s why when I saw Danny DeVito’s name trending on Twitter I froze. Our great nation could very well crumble if anything bad was to happen to such an icon right now. With extreme trepidation I clicked on the social media link and was relieved to see that good ol’ Danny boy is just strumming up hype because he is passionately urging New Yorkers to stay home.

Amid the coronavirus outbreak, Governor Andrew Cuomo has been driving New Yorkers to stay home and has taken every precaution short of shutting the state down completely to help prevent the virus from spreading. Because New Yorkers can be hard headed, it doesn’t hurt to have some famous friends reiterate your message. Big names like Lala Anthony, Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller have all made appearances on Cuomo’s social media pleading with New Yorker’s to heed the governors warning. Only one celebrity was able to make it to Twitter’s trending page however and that was none other than Danny DeVito. DeVito’s message is simple…stay home! In the two minute video, DeVito reminds fans that it’s not just up to the elderly to isolate themselves. “Young people can get it and they can transmit it to old people and the next thing you know – I’m out of there” says the actor. We must save him!

Twitter went into a frenzy with many users agreeing that we need to stay home for Danny. One user wrote “When Danny speaks, I listen.” Another passionately wrote “If you idiots kill Danny DeVito I SWEAR TO GOD.” One promoted DeVito from the icon status I previously awarded him and said “WE GOTTA PROTECT WORLD TREASURE DANNY DeVITO.” 

Take a look at the video below and for the love of the newly minted national treasure, stay home!

 

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