BRKN HRTD: Cancel Valentine’s Day This Year Because Sweethearts Are No Longer Being Sold

Love might be a cruel mistress but never in all my years did I think I would live to see the day when you could no longer slide over a heart shaped confectionary emblazoned with a cute abbreviated message to your secret crush. What I’m trying to say is that Sweethearts candies will not be sold in stores this Valentine’s Day!

Last year through a series of unfortunate events, Sweethearts were sold from their parent company Round Hill Investments who had just purchased Necco. Round Hill Investments then sold the Sweethearts to Spangler Candy Company but the Spangler Candy Company did not have enough time to produce the popular Valentine’s Day confection so there will be none available in retailers for the first time in 153 years! It’s worth mentioning that it took Necco 11 months to make the 8 billion Sweethearts candies sold for the romantic holiday. No amount of arrows shot by a cherub in a diaper can fix this broken heart. I say we cancel Valentine’s Day this year!

Sweethearts will be back for a big return next year but by then love will have officially died so what are we to do?

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