Remember how Shirley Temple used to trot around dancing “On The Good Ship Lollipop?” You probably don’t. But the point is – our planet’s slow descent into cultural purgatory means that today’s child star has turned in their hair ribbons and ring curls for a blowout and traded their tap-dance choreography for dancing in cha-cha shorty shorts with moves that seem to cry out for a stripper pole.
Don’t let her dance moves fool you. Jenna Rose is 12 years old. Just weeks ago she was a wholesome young whippersnapper with a wildly succesful video-gone-viral tune called “My Jeans.” But unbeknownst to us, she and some producer were already plotting her turn towards the tawdry… her new song O.M.G. will probably get lots of traffic… not just because it’s uncomfortable, and riding the recent wave of ‘is this really happening’ music videos that have made her and Rebecca Black (in)famous. I’m sure she’s a very nice young girl with a very big dream. I’m not trying to be a hater, but this whole thing freaks me out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDulhduiDQw
^ uh no. I have more talent creviced inside of my big toe nail.