Dolly Parton Recites Hilarious Poem That Perfectly Captures How We All Feel

Dolly Parton? More like Dolly Seuss.

Earlier today, Dolly Parton took to Instagram to recite a poem she wrote and I can honestly say I haven’t been this excited about poetry since One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. 

The 81-second video begins with a whirlwind of calamity as the country singing icon recreates what some of our homes have been sounding like amid the coronavirus quarantines. “My accountant is calling? Tell him to kiss my assets goodbye because they’re dwindling to nothin'” she yells before protesting “no, you can’t put a mask on a turtle!” It is so eerie that Dolly has managed to replicate two exact scenarios that occurred in my home just moments ago. The ever wise Dolly-Lama then turns to the camera to share a funny, little poem she wrote to remind us all that this too shall pass.

The poem might not be as lengthy as Beowulf but I can assure you it is definitely as epic. Dolly tackles all quarantine grievances like bored children, mean teens and those couples who are arguing like “Donald and Pelosi.” In true Dolly fashion, the country singer keeps things lighthearted though and ends the poem with a desperate plea, “And Lord, please find a vaccination in the form of a shot or a pill…’Cause if the virus don’t kill us, the staying home will!”

Get yourself a much deserved smile and watch the video below!


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