Spider-man, Spider-man…spent 25 years rotting in a tin can.
Remember when a good Saturday afternoon meant cracking open a can of Chef Boyardee, plopping down on a beanbag and watching some action-packed, comic book cartoons? Well, I do…except we never had a beanbag…a grudge I’ve carried into my 30’s. In any event, one retro-enthusiast shared on Twitter an event that would make any 90’s kid giddy. Matt aka @DinosaurDracula opened a “wildly corroded” can of 25-year-old, Spider-Man Chef Boyardee soup and the contents would have even Peter Parker panicking.
It began with a simple announcement.
Opening a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995: a thread. (1/5) pic.twitter.com/DW7w7ALMO4
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
You can practically smell the anticipation…or is that decades old soup?
I put the can opener to work, unsettled by the rust, but emboldened by the lack of noxious fumes. I turn the knob and wince, unable to rule out the possibility that the contents have mutated into something alive & malevolent. (2/5) pic.twitter.com/IBmJXBWZI2
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
Ok…who knew soup could fossilize?!?
They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but there’s nothing funny about 15 ounces of Spider-Man Pasta reduced to a rotted 3-ounce chunk. Recalling the fate of Jordy Verrill in Creepshow, I’m thankful for my rubber gloves. (3/5) pic.twitter.com/W5WqQ7wEHs
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
The soup-fossil was rock solid and came out of the can in one piece!
I carefully remove the mass, which looks like a cross between Big Thunder Mountain and one of those Geonosian hives from Attack of the Clones. (4/5) pic.twitter.com/PIchW9mdMy
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
Alas, only one part of the original contents survived…
I think I notice something, but consult the label on the can to be sure. Indeed, there’s poor Spider-Man, trapped in this godforsaken toxic monstrosity. I’m sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability.
Thank you all for taking this journey with me. (5/5) pic.twitter.com/6UcfRcN9tz
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
What a wild ride! I have never been so intrigued. Who knew nostalgia could be so nasty?
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